So back in May, Josh, myself, and Josh’s friend Abbie went out to the movies. Abbie and I had spoken briefly about seeing Godzilla, and we all decided we’d go see it. The reason I’m bringing this up now is because I remember my reaction to the film walking out of the theater. In fact, I think all three of us had pretty much the same reaction. I got the film on DVD when it came out, and after seeing it again, I just wanted to point out some things the three of us touched on when discussing it afterwards. Damn…I almost sound like some kind of internet reviewer.

Right off the bat I’m gonna point out two things that I think we all liked about the movie. First off, it looked good. Visually, they made the big G and those two bugs look pretty damn good. There was at least a couple of moments when the camera man was using an over the shoulder camera, and the reason why I point that out is because it was a little shaky. That got a little annoying. Still, the movie looked good, so that’s a win in my book. Second, none of the actors did a bad job at all. In fact, I think they all did great. So I honestly have no negative critiques about any of the actors at all. They were great. Smiles all around. Thumbs up, actors.

So, now that that’s out of the way, I’ll just make one point about Godzilla movies. I’ve seen a ton of them. I love Godzilla films, my favorite being Final Wars because that shit goes from 0 to BANANAS in no time. But there’s one thing that’s always been a basic mold for each of the movies: Godzilla is NOT the main character. Doesn’t matter which film you pick up, he’s not the main character. Sounds kinda stupid, right? Well, it’s not. Mainly because it’s hard to center a film entirely around a character that can’t speak. Sure, he can gesture, and you definitely know when he’s pissed off, but talking isn’t his strong suit.

I wanted to bring up some things about the movie that stuck out to me. First off: Nuclear Power plant in Japan gets destroyed, suffers a full melt down right near a town. Too soon? I mean, I know they were already working on the film when that shit happened in real life in Japan, but…wow. That’s almost kind of creepy. Of course there was no way they could just rewrite the whole opening of the film when it really happened, and no one that was part of the film’s production team could be blamed for that, I just always thought that was really crazy that it mirrored real life so closely. Minus the giant lizard and bugs, of course. Side note: I’m not too sure how this works in real life, but wasn’t that nuclear reactor really close to the town? I mean, I know they’re actually pretty safe, but I would think there would be some kind of guidelines for putting the reactors in relatively unpopulated areas *in case* of a meltdown. Again, I’m not up to speed on the rules of where you can put the reactors, so I might just be wrong altogether with this one.

Let’s talk about the bugs for a second. Not a big fan of them. I said before that they looked good, and they do. They look great, move well, all that jazz. Still, I was really hoping for the Big G to fight one of his traditional enemies. Where’s Gigan? Where’s Rodan? Where the hell is Ghidorah? That’s his main enemy, and he’s not ever mentioned in the damn movie. That’s just a personal gripe of my own. Moving on.

Oh yeah, the MUTO thing. That’s the name for the bugs. MUTO. It’s an acronym that stands for Massive Unidentified Terrestrial Organism. Here’s the thing though, right after we learn that that’s what we’re supposed to call these things, it’s pointed out BY THE ADMIRAL THAT JUST GAVE US THEIR NAMES that at least one of them can fly, so the “Terrestrial” part of the name is pointless. Huh. Why are we calling them MUTOs then? Just get rid of the T in the name. Or call them MUIO, the “I” being “Insectoid”. Again, this is a small gripe, but I thought it was kind of silly, so I just wanted to point it out.

Here’s one thing that I’m gonna just put down as a “Wtf?” moment. So, Cranston and Johnson get caught by the cops, or whoever they were, and brought to the old reactor for questioning. Anywho, the first bug wakes up, goes apeshit, and starts killing people. Now here’s the “wtf” bit. It stamps down, causing an EMP shockwave. That causes all the power to go out at the reactor. Well, that’s what is supposed to happen during an EMP shockwave. But then…why does the door to Cranston’s “cell” open? I mean, the door was still closed, so what the hell turned the knob to open it? The lock should’ve still been in place, so how could it open at all? Did the ghost of one of the workers at the reactor open it? There’s no explanation for this. Wtf?

Now I’m gonna point out two amazing coincidences, one after the other. Of course, these being coincidences, that means that they could actually happen, but it just seemed so random when we all watched it. 1: Johnson is on a train, kind of like a subway. A kid gets stuck in the car he’s in, with his parents waiting outside of it. If they were standing there at the train, why didn’t they get on with him? Do they just like hanging out at subway stations watching the trains go by? I dunno. Well, the train starts moving, the kid is stuck with Johnson, he tries to tell them he’ll watch the kid and bring him back. Anywho, the train gets attacked by one of the bugs, gets bitten in half I think, so Johnson and the kid kind of just walk to the closest military outpost. Long story short, the kid turns around and BOOM. There’s mom and dad, arms wide open, smiles abound. Why the fuck was this scene in the movie? It literally solved nothing, added nothing to the plot, hell the kid didn’t speak a word to him the whole time he was on the screen. And it certainly was amazing that the kid just turned around and found his parents standing there. Coincidence? Yeah, and a stupid one at that.

2: Johnson’s wife is a nurse at a hospital. She has their kid with her, and her friend comes up to her to tell her that if she wants, she’ll take the kid with her to somewhere safe. The last buses are leaving to get people out of the area. Johnson’s wife, Elle, declines. She says they’re waiting for her husband, he’ll be there shortly. She rethinks the idea after a minute or two, then sees one of the bugs casually strolling through the city. More like casually strolling through the BUILDINGS. She turns around stops the first bus she sees, and gets her kid on board. Oh hey!!! Look! It’s the bus my friend happened to be on! Amazing. That seemed awfully convenient to me.

There were just a few things left I was thinking about pointing out. When Cranston and Johnson are walking around their old home, looking for data and shit, Johnson walks past an aquarium in his room. Inside it you can see a pretty good sized cocoon. On the front of the aquarium, on a piece of tape is one word written in pen. It says “Mothra”. I liked that. I would’ve rather seen the REAL Mothra in the movie, but still, that was cute.  Another thing that was quick but cute was that Elle says to Johnson “Hey, it’s not the end of the world”. Seriously? Don’t ever say that in a movie. EVER. Right after that the world will end whenever you say it. Still, another cute little joke. The last thing I was gonna mention was the very last thing we see in the movie. Helicopter footage of the Big Guy himself with a caption or ticker on it. It says: The King of Monsters! Our Savior? Holy shit. Are you serious? Come the fuck on. Godzilla hardly took any notice to the humans at all during the film. He was there simply to kill two big bugs that pissed him off. He was certainly not acting in some benevolent manner. He was just doing what he does: kicking the shit outta whatever’s in his way. I think the whole “Our Savior?” thing was a bit much.

Anywho, the movie was entertaining enough, looked great, and had some ridiculous shit happening in it. Pretty good choice to sit there and discuss afterwards. Kinda like what I just did. I’m not saying it was bad in any way, just goofy in some parts, ridiculous in others, and pointless in a few more.